So my goal is to lose 15 pounds by then. Let’s go.

I had a chocolate chip pancake and then raviolis and shit ton of orange juice. That was like 800-900 calories and I feel gross so I’m not eating the rest of the day.

whatshouldfoodcallme:

..no matter what

So today was an okay day but I got really annoyed with my sister and father and mother. I’m irritated with my sister because she’s a fucking little ass child still. She claims she’s mature but her words and actions tell me the complete opposite. I’m tired of always fighting with her and getting into arguments just because she has a different opinion than my own. She’s 100% narrow-minded. She’s right, I’m wrong. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. Sometimes no one is wrong. Sometimes no one is right. I’m tired of her always being super hateful and mean when we fight as well. I don’t say anything rude to her, anything mean to her yet she always calls me a bitch, always says that no one likes me, etc. And only SOMETIMES does she realize how she treats me but most the time, I never hear an “I’m sorry” for anything. And now, she is quitting her job because she can’t stand to work with Andrea. We work at the same place and I know that Andrea can be a handful at times because she lies a lot and she’s like a pet for our head boss which can get very irritating. BUT, I had to deal with all this bullshit from Andrea when I first started working with her. She treated me like crap at first but then it all mellowed out because I dealt with it because I consider myself to have an excellent work ethic and I’m not going to let some dumbass bitch get to me. My sister however apparently cannot handle that and decided to quit and now she’s acting like such a little fucking cunt. Complaining ALL THE TIME about Andrea. It’s like, calm the fuck down, you are quitting, why are worrying about it?! It doesn’t make ANY sense. What’s done is done. You made your choice to quit so fucking leave it at that. It’s so dumb. And I’ve tried to explain to her that I’ve dealt with the SAME problems with Andrea that she’s having but she’s just like, “No, I can’t work with that woman”. And that’s what she’s calls her.. “that woman”. Seriously? Grow the fuck up and call her by her name. Don’t be disrespectful. And then my dad completely defends my sister. So does my mom. And I’m just like, if she can’t handle a person like Andrea, how the hell is she going to survive anywhere else?! She won’t be able to. You aren’t going to like every single person you have to work with or work for. I’m also really tired of her always taking things out of proportion. I say one thing and she takes it to mean something completely different than my intended meaning and even after I tell her that it’s not what I meant, she still doesn’t believe me. What the fuck. I hate that. And my dad is the same damn way. I’m nothing like them. I hate fucking living here with them. I want to be far away from them but that’s kinda hard when my dad works at my work. But I just feel like, until I move out, my relationship with all of them is going to continue to get worse because right now, I can’t stand to be around any of them.

I don’t deserve to be treated the way they treat me. I’m sick of them favoring her.. And now they just feel sorry for her because she had a drinking problem and she used to cut herself. Really? Like really? I’ve been cutting myself since I was 12. But they’ve never noticed me because apparently, I don’t matter.

I don’t seem to matter to a lot of people that matter to me.